Jonathan Foust

April 9, 2009

Everything Taking Too Long

Filed under: Humor — jonathanfoust @ 11:00 am

Life is short – and then you die.

WASHINGTON—An overwhelming sense of restlessness and impatience engulfed the U.S. this week when citizens determined that everything—the morning commute, phone conversations, getting a table at Chili’s, making coffee, commercial breaks, everything—was taking entirely too long.

This piece from the Onion kind of nails it.

Hat tip to Corey.



  1. Oh my gosh, Jonathan. This was so funny I had to link it to my Facebook page after laughing so hard I could barely read it out loud to my husband. I appreciate your blog. Have you noticed that you never know who will turn up reading it?

    Comment by jenna yeager — April 10, 2009 @ 11:50 pm

  2. I’m glad I was not drinking milk when I read it, as it would have been destined to go up my nose. Really glad you enjoyed it! And delighted you made it to my blog. Thanks for the kind words .. any blessings to you.

    Comment by jonathanfoust — April 11, 2009 @ 8:15 am

  3. Hey Jonathan,
    Thanks for the link, that’s very funny. It’s a shame that our culture has deemed it “disrespectful” to be late, as if the impossibility to control time were our moral failing rather than an immutable fact of existence. It’s a shame that we’re so anxious to accuse each other when no one’s really in control, even the people who are on top of things much of the time, even people who aren’t late. I wish we could not blame each other for things, even when the other person did something “wrong.” One thing I’ve always noticed, that Buddhism confirms, is that we do “wrong” things when we’re afraid and confused, when we trap ourselves in ‘small self vs big scary world’ mode. We’re not jerks who screw other people over for fun or who are irresponsible for the hell of it. One of the main things I’ve learned as a college student is that stress makes people behave very badly, over and over. Meditation helps me get out of that cycle. I’ve noticed that devout Christian students don’t necessarily “do better” in terms of grades, etc. but often handle the pressure with more grace and kindness directed at others.

    I’ve been thinking a lot about time lately and was wondering if you’d elaborate on it. I’m reading a great book, Dainin Katagiri’s “Each Moment is the Universe.” Have you read it? I’m trying to think of time as something that is part of me and that I can flow with. It’s tough in our culture, with so many time constraints, not to see time as an external enemy, something you compete against toward a goal. I was wondering if you would talk about your views on time and how not to let time pressure, like deadlines, overwhelm you.


    Comment by G — April 11, 2009 @ 2:09 pm

  4. Apologies for my tardy response.

    As I am constantly booking ahead, I’m amazed at how this year is almost half over. How did that happen? There are so many interesting theories on time and our experience of it. I’d love to check out that book. What have you gleaned from it?

    The essential teachings in meditation are all about the (cliche) Power of Now … that any moment of consciousness / insight / heart opening / intuition is all ‘now-based.’ Gamblers go for that high of a moment of winning or losing. We all get caught in time going by too fast when we want something and going by too slow when we dread something.

    Other cultures have such a different sense of time … The Zharma, where I lived in West Africa, don’t have verbs. It’s all about “I go today / I go yesterday / I go tomorrow.” That’s it. The concept of ‘immediately’ is ‘now-now.’ There is no word that implies ‘two days from now.’

    Pretty wild! May time be on your side …

    Comment by jonathanfoust — April 17, 2009 @ 6:27 pm

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